Posted by: krittikae | January 28, 2010

Everyone Pees: Bathroom Etiquette

DISCLAIMER: This post deals with my bathroom neuroticism.

There are 3 certainties in life. #1 – Death. #2 – Taxes. #3 – You will run into coworkers in the bathroom.

My husband laughs at me, but I have a firm belief that bathroom time is a single person event. I don’t want the door open. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to hear a play-by-play. Even when it’s my turn, I run the faucet regardless of why I’m there.

I understand that 99% of people aren’t as bathroom-neurotic as I am. Then again, I seem to remember one of my sisters had a rule about how many squares of toilet paper her kids could use when they were potty training. (It was probably an effort to make sure they didn’t try for the whole roll.) But I still believe there are a few rules that EVERYONE should follow.

#1 – No talking on your cell phone. Do the people you’re conversing with really need to know how many glasses of water you had this morning? 1 time in my LIFE I have remained on the phone while peeing – it was my sister, and I muted it and made her continue talking. I was still embarrassed. We have several offenders of this rule in my office. It’s just creepy.

#2 – For God’s Sake – FLUSH! Am I really the only person who notices? You would think a reasonably competent child could notice that if not everything went down, try flushing again. At work, none of the toilets have decent water pressure. As a rule, I always flush twice, just in case. I like my bathroom to be clean and ready to use next time.

#3 – No small talk at the sink. I didn’t come here to chat about the weather. Please, just let me wash my hands and leave.

#4 – Wash your hands and leave. Even if this is the only time all day that water touches your hands, please let me at least pretend that my coworkers are hygienic.

I’m a little envious of the IT people. There’s only 3 people who work on the 4th floor, and a limited number of volunteers and clients. I bet their bathrooms stay much cleaner than us schmucks on the 1st floor.

Am I wrong?

That reminds me. I’ve seen a lot of blogs and posts lately that end the blog with a question. Does that really make more people comment? Let’s test it.

Do you have any Universal Bathroom Rules?


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