Posted by: krittikae | April 7, 2010

About Mom

My mother is an interesting woman. Like all mother/daughter relationships, there have been good times, and tough times. Mom has the distinction of being either inordinately strong, or incredibly naive, because she raised four daughters – and had at least 1 daughter in her teens all the way from 1980 to 2002. Yes folks, that’s 22 years of teenage daughter angst.

Being the youngest, I arguably had it the easiest. As such, I was probably the easiest of the four to raise. By the time I came around, there were lax rules, a bedroom of my own (and all through high school, the entire upstairs of our house). I got liberal use of my mother’s car, and money for the movies almost any time I asked.

Even after I left for college, I was still geographically closer to my parents than any of my sisters. At an hour away, I was close enough to run home on long weekends, or to see my parents occasionally for dinner. I enjoyed their support of some of my favorite activities, like band. I also enjoyed the use of their washer and dryer whenever I needed to do a lot of laundry. I’ve gotten to enjoy a unique friendship with my mother. I grew into an adult within her arm’s reach, and waited (not by choice) until my late twenties to start my family. This gave me a chance to truly know my mother, not just as a mom, but as a woman herself.

Sometimes my sisters joke that I’m more like Mom than any of them. I like to think I’m a lot like both of my parents. I’m as stubborn as Mom, and inherited her love of crafts, music, and cooking. I’m as funny as Dad, and inherited his love of games and his work ethic. I think I got the best of them both.

Today, my Mom is having surgery again. She fell last week and shattered a bone in her leg. I’m still the closest of my sisters to them, at about 1400 miles away. That means none of us can be there in person to support Mom, and to help Dad cope with the stress and the need to be with her in the hospital. All we can do is love them, pray for them, and to support them as best we can, from across the country.

It’s times like these when you reflect on the choices that you’ve made in your life. Had my husband and I not decided to move last spring, we would have been mere minutes away from Mom’s hospital room. But if we hadn’t moved, we wouldn’t be in a city we love, with new friends, both wonderful, fulfilling jobs that we love, and things may have been very different. I felt guilty at the time for wanting to move. Mom has been sick for over a year. Between her kidneys and her balance problems/broken bones from balance problems, she’s probably spent as much time in the hospital or nursing home as not. Now, more than ever, you can see the incredible love my parents have for each other, after 45 years of marriage. I can only hope that in 45 years, I can show Paul as much love and support as my Dad is showing Mom.

As I reflect today on my parents, I know that regardless of what the future holds, I was lucky. I was lucky to have them in my life.

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